How do I deal with being envious of my own players?How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?How do you help players not focus on the rules?How to deal with overly cautious players?How do I deal with my players not roleplaying at all?How to deal with a quiet player?How to deal with a DM that doesn't listen to or cooperate with his co-DMs?How to deal with a group reluctant to think and discuss?How to encourage players to work better as a team?Am I a problem player?How to deal with a player who is a bad sport?How can I make my players settle their differences in-character?

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How do I deal with being envious of my own players?


How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?How do you help players not focus on the rules?How to deal with overly cautious players?How do I deal with my players not roleplaying at all?How to deal with a quiet player?How to deal with a DM that doesn't listen to or cooperate with his co-DMs?How to deal with a group reluctant to think and discuss?How to encourage players to work better as a team?Am I a problem player?How to deal with a player who is a bad sport?How can I make my players settle their differences in-character?













41












$begingroup$


I am the problem GM in question.



I haven't played for a long time. My last two attempts at it were with GMs that represented "no" rather than "yes, but" approach. Often railroaded to the point of lacking the ability to decide in what order party will take side quests. Baits ignored by the monsters, things "not in the scenario" simply not working, things like that. Probably you all know how it is. It wasn't terrible experience per se, but it was more of tactical experience than roleplaying and problem solving one. Not something I seek.



Now, I'm GMing a module that gives characters a goal and environment. I always do my best to make every character decision count, for good or worse, and module encourages this approach as well. I see they are having fun with it, have crazy ideas and even when some of these ideas fail, they have fun. I take my pride in it, because even if I'm far from being perfect, I give them fun and that's what RPG is about.



Now, the problem part. I envy them this kind of fun. I want some of it for myself. And I'm afraid it will begin to show soon, if it haven't already.



In our group there is only one person who has any experience as GM. I described his game at the beginning of this question. Also, majority of our group are medics, and this profession is almost proverbially overworked. Adventure Path I DM now started like two years ago and we are in the middle of book 2, so taking a break for me to play would be problematic.



Do you have any experience in similar situations and can advise how to proceed, before my players start posting problem-gm questions?



To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow that fun.




Systems I played "recently" are Vampire (can't recall if it was Old or New World of Darkness) and Savage Worlds. Our main campaign I GM is Pathfinder, but we had a little break when I DMed Paranoia. Issue I describe did not depend on the system we were playing. Quite contrary, WoD and Savage Worlds looks like even less rule-loaded than Pathfinder is. It is all about playstyle, not ruleset, as far as I can tell.



It is about making things count even if not written in the adventure book, not about specific game mechanics under which things would happen.










share|improve this question











$endgroup$







  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
    $endgroup$
    – nitsua60
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
    $endgroup$
    – RyanfaeScotland
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
    $endgroup$
    – BESW
    20 hours ago
















41












$begingroup$


I am the problem GM in question.



I haven't played for a long time. My last two attempts at it were with GMs that represented "no" rather than "yes, but" approach. Often railroaded to the point of lacking the ability to decide in what order party will take side quests. Baits ignored by the monsters, things "not in the scenario" simply not working, things like that. Probably you all know how it is. It wasn't terrible experience per se, but it was more of tactical experience than roleplaying and problem solving one. Not something I seek.



Now, I'm GMing a module that gives characters a goal and environment. I always do my best to make every character decision count, for good or worse, and module encourages this approach as well. I see they are having fun with it, have crazy ideas and even when some of these ideas fail, they have fun. I take my pride in it, because even if I'm far from being perfect, I give them fun and that's what RPG is about.



Now, the problem part. I envy them this kind of fun. I want some of it for myself. And I'm afraid it will begin to show soon, if it haven't already.



In our group there is only one person who has any experience as GM. I described his game at the beginning of this question. Also, majority of our group are medics, and this profession is almost proverbially overworked. Adventure Path I DM now started like two years ago and we are in the middle of book 2, so taking a break for me to play would be problematic.



Do you have any experience in similar situations and can advise how to proceed, before my players start posting problem-gm questions?



To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow that fun.




Systems I played "recently" are Vampire (can't recall if it was Old or New World of Darkness) and Savage Worlds. Our main campaign I GM is Pathfinder, but we had a little break when I DMed Paranoia. Issue I describe did not depend on the system we were playing. Quite contrary, WoD and Savage Worlds looks like even less rule-loaded than Pathfinder is. It is all about playstyle, not ruleset, as far as I can tell.



It is about making things count even if not written in the adventure book, not about specific game mechanics under which things would happen.










share|improve this question











$endgroup$







  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
    $endgroup$
    – nitsua60
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
    $endgroup$
    – RyanfaeScotland
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
    $endgroup$
    – BESW
    20 hours ago














41












41








41


3



$begingroup$


I am the problem GM in question.



I haven't played for a long time. My last two attempts at it were with GMs that represented "no" rather than "yes, but" approach. Often railroaded to the point of lacking the ability to decide in what order party will take side quests. Baits ignored by the monsters, things "not in the scenario" simply not working, things like that. Probably you all know how it is. It wasn't terrible experience per se, but it was more of tactical experience than roleplaying and problem solving one. Not something I seek.



Now, I'm GMing a module that gives characters a goal and environment. I always do my best to make every character decision count, for good or worse, and module encourages this approach as well. I see they are having fun with it, have crazy ideas and even when some of these ideas fail, they have fun. I take my pride in it, because even if I'm far from being perfect, I give them fun and that's what RPG is about.



Now, the problem part. I envy them this kind of fun. I want some of it for myself. And I'm afraid it will begin to show soon, if it haven't already.



In our group there is only one person who has any experience as GM. I described his game at the beginning of this question. Also, majority of our group are medics, and this profession is almost proverbially overworked. Adventure Path I DM now started like two years ago and we are in the middle of book 2, so taking a break for me to play would be problematic.



Do you have any experience in similar situations and can advise how to proceed, before my players start posting problem-gm questions?



To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow that fun.




Systems I played "recently" are Vampire (can't recall if it was Old or New World of Darkness) and Savage Worlds. Our main campaign I GM is Pathfinder, but we had a little break when I DMed Paranoia. Issue I describe did not depend on the system we were playing. Quite contrary, WoD and Savage Worlds looks like even less rule-loaded than Pathfinder is. It is all about playstyle, not ruleset, as far as I can tell.



It is about making things count even if not written in the adventure book, not about specific game mechanics under which things would happen.










share|improve this question











$endgroup$




I am the problem GM in question.



I haven't played for a long time. My last two attempts at it were with GMs that represented "no" rather than "yes, but" approach. Often railroaded to the point of lacking the ability to decide in what order party will take side quests. Baits ignored by the monsters, things "not in the scenario" simply not working, things like that. Probably you all know how it is. It wasn't terrible experience per se, but it was more of tactical experience than roleplaying and problem solving one. Not something I seek.



Now, I'm GMing a module that gives characters a goal and environment. I always do my best to make every character decision count, for good or worse, and module encourages this approach as well. I see they are having fun with it, have crazy ideas and even when some of these ideas fail, they have fun. I take my pride in it, because even if I'm far from being perfect, I give them fun and that's what RPG is about.



Now, the problem part. I envy them this kind of fun. I want some of it for myself. And I'm afraid it will begin to show soon, if it haven't already.



In our group there is only one person who has any experience as GM. I described his game at the beginning of this question. Also, majority of our group are medics, and this profession is almost proverbially overworked. Adventure Path I DM now started like two years ago and we are in the middle of book 2, so taking a break for me to play would be problematic.



Do you have any experience in similar situations and can advise how to proceed, before my players start posting problem-gm questions?



To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow that fun.




Systems I played "recently" are Vampire (can't recall if it was Old or New World of Darkness) and Savage Worlds. Our main campaign I GM is Pathfinder, but we had a little break when I DMed Paranoia. Issue I describe did not depend on the system we were playing. Quite contrary, WoD and Savage Worlds looks like even less rule-loaded than Pathfinder is. It is all about playstyle, not ruleset, as far as I can tell.



It is about making things count even if not written in the adventure book, not about specific game mechanics under which things would happen.







system-agnostic group-dynamics social problem-gm






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 18 hours ago









StuperUser

2,96923063




2,96923063










asked yesterday









MołotMołot

6,47313867




6,47313867







  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
    $endgroup$
    – nitsua60
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
    $endgroup$
    – RyanfaeScotland
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
    $endgroup$
    – BESW
    20 hours ago













  • 2




    $begingroup$
    Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
    $endgroup$
    – nitsua60
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
    $endgroup$
    – RyanfaeScotland
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
    $endgroup$
    – BESW
    20 hours ago








2




2




$begingroup$
Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
$endgroup$
– nitsua60
yesterday




$begingroup$
Can you explain (in the post) what makes this a system-agnostic problem? Are you running into the problem in multiple systems? Have you found that the "usual" solutions based in your system's rules haven't worked, so that you need something detached from those rules? See also this recent meta for some current, ongoing discussion of the tag.
$endgroup$
– nitsua60
yesterday




1




1




$begingroup$
@nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday




$begingroup$
@nitsua60 I did. Hope that helps. I believe it is not about the rules, but about the "page" games were on, as in same page tool
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday












$begingroup$
Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
$endgroup$
– RyanfaeScotland
yesterday




$begingroup$
Is there anything stopping you from DM'ing this group but PC'ing in another? Time constraints being the obvious problem, not knowing another DM in the style you like being another?
$endgroup$
– RyanfaeScotland
yesterday












$begingroup$
@RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday




$begingroup$
@RyanfaeScotland both, actually. To PC I'd have to cut down the time I have to DM, and seeing how on average we only play every other week, I'd have cut it to zero for my playing to make any sense.
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday




1




1




$begingroup$
Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
$endgroup$
– BESW
20 hours ago





$begingroup$
Related: How do I convince my group to try a new system without always having to DM it first?
$endgroup$
– BESW
20 hours ago











4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes


















42












$begingroup$

If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch.



When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was complete he say something like this:




Hey guys, I really enjoy playing with you, but I have to be honest, I
really want to play. I'm not having much fun as DM, would some one
else mind running the game for a bit?




In the end, I decided to take over and I am glad I did. I am having much more fun as the DM than I did as a player. Some people really love GM'ing and other people really love playing. There is no shame in stepping aside. When I started, I had about 5 sessions as a player under my belt. The previous GM helped me along the way. He passed on what he had already prepped and help me with some of the rules as I learned.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$








  • 5




    $begingroup$
    To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
    $endgroup$
    – SaggingRufus
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
    $endgroup$
    – guildsbounty
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday


















28












$begingroup$

First, a word of warning.



Do not try to have a DM PC



It won't live up to your expectations and will likely detract from the overall experience. At best, it's a net neutral enjoyment, but with more work on your part to make everything flow together.




That said, you have a few options under the umbrella of:



Find a way to play



The only way to scratch that itch, so to speak, is to actually scratch it. These are methods I've used when I get the jonesin' to play.



Join a different game as a player



This is most effective for me, personally. Maybe another friend, coworker, internet group, etc wants to run a game. There are plenty of online resources or maybe you'll glance over a coworker's shoulder to see them browsing rpg.stackexchange.com. Who knows?



Ask your group for a break



If you want to keep running this game, but are chomping at the bit to play, let your players know and see if anyone would be interested in running a game or two. I've had moderate success with this. It doesn't even have to be D&D. When I was running a fate game, I had a player who wanted to do a oneshot of SlapDash, and it was a ton of fun. My wife and I still talk about that session because it was such a refreshing change of pace; it helped me get back into my focus.



Rotating DMs



This one is tough, I've had mixed success with it and I'd only recommend it as a last resort unless you know how everyone will handle it. But it goes something like this: You establish boundaries and expectations for how impactful these sessions will be; someone finds a scenario they'd like to run (either made, found, or borrowed); someone runs that adventure for 1-3 sessions. Rinse and repeat. This is very similar to the one-shot idea, but it's all in universe and you guys have to work together to an extent to keep the story from feeling like mixed media piece where some of it is music and other parts are melting crayons.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
    $endgroup$
    – SevenSidedDie
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
    $endgroup$
    – Master_Yogurt
    yesterday


















3












$begingroup$

A system I use has exactly the answer you need. In this system, once characters level up enough, mage-types can build dungeons. Players can design a dungeon however they want; once it's built, the rulebook lays out precise rules for filling the dungeon with monsters by making encounter checks for the dungeon itself. Eventually, the encounter check ends up being an adventuring party. That means a party wants to clear the dungeon!



And that's when I get to be a player.



The owner of the dungeon is, obviously, the dungeon master (with apologies to Wizards of the Coast's trademark). That player runs the dungeon run as a one-shot, with the random adventuring party being played by the other players - and, for once, me!



This has the following benefits:



  1. I, the forever-GM, am guaranteed to play at least once.


  2. The GM-for-a-day gets to learn the system and run a one-shot (with me there to help, if need be).


  3. With enough players, someone is going to like it enough to want to GM a real game!


While the rules for making and running dungeons are built in to my system, it's easy enough to create in any system - or genre! You mentioned Paranoia; what's to stop Friend Computer from ordering one of the troubleshooters to create a one-shot mini-game, built to confuse the enemy, which will be play tested by fellow troubleshooters, including a certain NPC (you!)?



The same goes for any system: make a quest to make a quest. Essentially, give an in-character reason why a PC will suddenly take over as GM-for-a-day. The Mad Scientist makes a maze for his rats, and the rats (the players) need to solve it; the mage builds a dungeon, and a random adventuring party wants to clear it for him; the Programmer accidentally makes Tron, and needs to send programs (the players) to fix it.



Most importantly, talk with your players, and make sure they understand your impending burnout. It's entirely understandable to want to play a game, not just create, and I think at least some of your players will understand that.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$








  • 3




    $begingroup$
    "A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
    $endgroup$
    – V2Blast
    yesterday











  • $begingroup$
    A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
    $endgroup$
    – ArmanX
    22 hours ago


















1












$begingroup$

You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it. This is natural since they lack experience.



Play with them to let them gain that experience. For a while, you will have less fun, but it gets better.



Better yet, teach them. You should never ever try to do this during a game. That undermines the authority a GM needs to do their job, and is not fun for anybody involved.



Instead you should take them aside after each session, after the other players have left, to tell them what you think worked and didn't work during the session. Be clear that you are only offering advice as an experienced GM, but that they are the ultimate authority for their game.



You should avoid making this seem like whining. If you can, give examples using the other players, not yourself.



You might want to start by asking questions. "I'm curious, why didn't you allow ..." They might actually have a good reason. You might learn something yourself!



To take the sting out, be free with your praise. If they do something you like, tell them so.



On a side note: Some people's expectations have been formed by computer RPGs. These are utterly rigid and usually badly railroaded. Some people think that this is what role playing is. Teach them otherwise.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    "You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    20 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
    $endgroup$
    – Stig Hemmer
    20 hours ago










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4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes








4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









42












$begingroup$

If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch.



When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was complete he say something like this:




Hey guys, I really enjoy playing with you, but I have to be honest, I
really want to play. I'm not having much fun as DM, would some one
else mind running the game for a bit?




In the end, I decided to take over and I am glad I did. I am having much more fun as the DM than I did as a player. Some people really love GM'ing and other people really love playing. There is no shame in stepping aside. When I started, I had about 5 sessions as a player under my belt. The previous GM helped me along the way. He passed on what he had already prepped and help me with some of the rules as I learned.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$








  • 5




    $begingroup$
    To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
    $endgroup$
    – SaggingRufus
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
    $endgroup$
    – guildsbounty
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday















42












$begingroup$

If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch.



When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was complete he say something like this:




Hey guys, I really enjoy playing with you, but I have to be honest, I
really want to play. I'm not having much fun as DM, would some one
else mind running the game for a bit?




In the end, I decided to take over and I am glad I did. I am having much more fun as the DM than I did as a player. Some people really love GM'ing and other people really love playing. There is no shame in stepping aside. When I started, I had about 5 sessions as a player under my belt. The previous GM helped me along the way. He passed on what he had already prepped and help me with some of the rules as I learned.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$








  • 5




    $begingroup$
    To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
    $endgroup$
    – SaggingRufus
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
    $endgroup$
    – guildsbounty
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday













42












42








42





$begingroup$

If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch.



When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was complete he say something like this:




Hey guys, I really enjoy playing with you, but I have to be honest, I
really want to play. I'm not having much fun as DM, would some one
else mind running the game for a bit?




In the end, I decided to take over and I am glad I did. I am having much more fun as the DM than I did as a player. Some people really love GM'ing and other people really love playing. There is no shame in stepping aside. When I started, I had about 5 sessions as a player under my belt. The previous GM helped me along the way. He passed on what he had already prepped and help me with some of the rules as I learned.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$



If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch.



When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was complete he say something like this:




Hey guys, I really enjoy playing with you, but I have to be honest, I
really want to play. I'm not having much fun as DM, would some one
else mind running the game for a bit?




In the end, I decided to take over and I am glad I did. I am having much more fun as the DM than I did as a player. Some people really love GM'ing and other people really love playing. There is no shame in stepping aside. When I started, I had about 5 sessions as a player under my belt. The previous GM helped me along the way. He passed on what he had already prepped and help me with some of the rules as I learned.







share|improve this answer














share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer








edited 20 hours ago









edgerunner

15.2k13980




15.2k13980










answered yesterday









SaggingRufusSaggingRufus

2,04111327




2,04111327







  • 5




    $begingroup$
    To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
    $endgroup$
    – SaggingRufus
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
    $endgroup$
    – guildsbounty
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday












  • 5




    $begingroup$
    To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
    $endgroup$
    – SaggingRufus
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
    $endgroup$
    – guildsbounty
    yesterday










  • $begingroup$
    @guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    yesterday







5




5




$begingroup$
To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday





$begingroup$
To be clear: I do have fun being DM. Problem is, envy starts to overshadow it. +1 because it makes little practical dierence
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday





3




3




$begingroup$
If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
$endgroup$
– SaggingRufus
yesterday




$begingroup$
If you feel you would have more fun as player though, the same logic applies. Pass the torch and experience the game as a player. You can even rotate who DMs.
$endgroup$
– SaggingRufus
yesterday












$begingroup$
@Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
$endgroup$
– guildsbounty
yesterday




$begingroup$
@Mołot Then maybe it's just time for a break? I love DMing as well and do the bulk of the DMing in my group(s). But from time to time, I pass the torch off for either a one-shot or short campaign so I can be a player again for a bit.
$endgroup$
– guildsbounty
yesterday












$begingroup$
@guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday




$begingroup$
@guildsbounty maybe it is. As I've said, I upvoted this answer.
$endgroup$
– Mołot
yesterday













28












$begingroup$

First, a word of warning.



Do not try to have a DM PC



It won't live up to your expectations and will likely detract from the overall experience. At best, it's a net neutral enjoyment, but with more work on your part to make everything flow together.




That said, you have a few options under the umbrella of:



Find a way to play



The only way to scratch that itch, so to speak, is to actually scratch it. These are methods I've used when I get the jonesin' to play.



Join a different game as a player



This is most effective for me, personally. Maybe another friend, coworker, internet group, etc wants to run a game. There are plenty of online resources or maybe you'll glance over a coworker's shoulder to see them browsing rpg.stackexchange.com. Who knows?



Ask your group for a break



If you want to keep running this game, but are chomping at the bit to play, let your players know and see if anyone would be interested in running a game or two. I've had moderate success with this. It doesn't even have to be D&D. When I was running a fate game, I had a player who wanted to do a oneshot of SlapDash, and it was a ton of fun. My wife and I still talk about that session because it was such a refreshing change of pace; it helped me get back into my focus.



Rotating DMs



This one is tough, I've had mixed success with it and I'd only recommend it as a last resort unless you know how everyone will handle it. But it goes something like this: You establish boundaries and expectations for how impactful these sessions will be; someone finds a scenario they'd like to run (either made, found, or borrowed); someone runs that adventure for 1-3 sessions. Rinse and repeat. This is very similar to the one-shot idea, but it's all in universe and you guys have to work together to an extent to keep the story from feeling like mixed media piece where some of it is music and other parts are melting crayons.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
    $endgroup$
    – SevenSidedDie
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
    $endgroup$
    – Master_Yogurt
    yesterday















28












$begingroup$

First, a word of warning.



Do not try to have a DM PC



It won't live up to your expectations and will likely detract from the overall experience. At best, it's a net neutral enjoyment, but with more work on your part to make everything flow together.




That said, you have a few options under the umbrella of:



Find a way to play



The only way to scratch that itch, so to speak, is to actually scratch it. These are methods I've used when I get the jonesin' to play.



Join a different game as a player



This is most effective for me, personally. Maybe another friend, coworker, internet group, etc wants to run a game. There are plenty of online resources or maybe you'll glance over a coworker's shoulder to see them browsing rpg.stackexchange.com. Who knows?



Ask your group for a break



If you want to keep running this game, but are chomping at the bit to play, let your players know and see if anyone would be interested in running a game or two. I've had moderate success with this. It doesn't even have to be D&D. When I was running a fate game, I had a player who wanted to do a oneshot of SlapDash, and it was a ton of fun. My wife and I still talk about that session because it was such a refreshing change of pace; it helped me get back into my focus.



Rotating DMs



This one is tough, I've had mixed success with it and I'd only recommend it as a last resort unless you know how everyone will handle it. But it goes something like this: You establish boundaries and expectations for how impactful these sessions will be; someone finds a scenario they'd like to run (either made, found, or borrowed); someone runs that adventure for 1-3 sessions. Rinse and repeat. This is very similar to the one-shot idea, but it's all in universe and you guys have to work together to an extent to keep the story from feeling like mixed media piece where some of it is music and other parts are melting crayons.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
    $endgroup$
    – SevenSidedDie
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
    $endgroup$
    – Master_Yogurt
    yesterday













28












28








28





$begingroup$

First, a word of warning.



Do not try to have a DM PC



It won't live up to your expectations and will likely detract from the overall experience. At best, it's a net neutral enjoyment, but with more work on your part to make everything flow together.




That said, you have a few options under the umbrella of:



Find a way to play



The only way to scratch that itch, so to speak, is to actually scratch it. These are methods I've used when I get the jonesin' to play.



Join a different game as a player



This is most effective for me, personally. Maybe another friend, coworker, internet group, etc wants to run a game. There are plenty of online resources or maybe you'll glance over a coworker's shoulder to see them browsing rpg.stackexchange.com. Who knows?



Ask your group for a break



If you want to keep running this game, but are chomping at the bit to play, let your players know and see if anyone would be interested in running a game or two. I've had moderate success with this. It doesn't even have to be D&D. When I was running a fate game, I had a player who wanted to do a oneshot of SlapDash, and it was a ton of fun. My wife and I still talk about that session because it was such a refreshing change of pace; it helped me get back into my focus.



Rotating DMs



This one is tough, I've had mixed success with it and I'd only recommend it as a last resort unless you know how everyone will handle it. But it goes something like this: You establish boundaries and expectations for how impactful these sessions will be; someone finds a scenario they'd like to run (either made, found, or borrowed); someone runs that adventure for 1-3 sessions. Rinse and repeat. This is very similar to the one-shot idea, but it's all in universe and you guys have to work together to an extent to keep the story from feeling like mixed media piece where some of it is music and other parts are melting crayons.






share|improve this answer











$endgroup$



First, a word of warning.



Do not try to have a DM PC



It won't live up to your expectations and will likely detract from the overall experience. At best, it's a net neutral enjoyment, but with more work on your part to make everything flow together.




That said, you have a few options under the umbrella of:



Find a way to play



The only way to scratch that itch, so to speak, is to actually scratch it. These are methods I've used when I get the jonesin' to play.



Join a different game as a player



This is most effective for me, personally. Maybe another friend, coworker, internet group, etc wants to run a game. There are plenty of online resources or maybe you'll glance over a coworker's shoulder to see them browsing rpg.stackexchange.com. Who knows?



Ask your group for a break



If you want to keep running this game, but are chomping at the bit to play, let your players know and see if anyone would be interested in running a game or two. I've had moderate success with this. It doesn't even have to be D&D. When I was running a fate game, I had a player who wanted to do a oneshot of SlapDash, and it was a ton of fun. My wife and I still talk about that session because it was such a refreshing change of pace; it helped me get back into my focus.



Rotating DMs



This one is tough, I've had mixed success with it and I'd only recommend it as a last resort unless you know how everyone will handle it. But it goes something like this: You establish boundaries and expectations for how impactful these sessions will be; someone finds a scenario they'd like to run (either made, found, or borrowed); someone runs that adventure for 1-3 sessions. Rinse and repeat. This is very similar to the one-shot idea, but it's all in universe and you guys have to work together to an extent to keep the story from feeling like mixed media piece where some of it is music and other parts are melting crayons.







share|improve this answer














share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer








edited yesterday









V2Blast

23.6k376149




23.6k376149










answered yesterday









goodguy5goodguy5

8,94223173




8,94223173











  • $begingroup$
    Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
    $endgroup$
    – SevenSidedDie
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
    $endgroup$
    – Master_Yogurt
    yesterday
















  • $begingroup$
    Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
    $endgroup$
    – SevenSidedDie
    yesterday






  • 1




    $begingroup$
    @goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
    $endgroup$
    – Master_Yogurt
    yesterday















$begingroup$
Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
$endgroup$
– SevenSidedDie
yesterday




$begingroup$
Reminder: comments aren't for chatting, debating, or discussing ideas. Please use comments for administrative purposes, such as making suggestions for improvement or constructive discussion about oversights in the post that might need correction.
$endgroup$
– SevenSidedDie
yesterday




1




1




$begingroup$
@goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
$endgroup$
– Master_Yogurt
yesterday




$begingroup$
@goodguy5 These are good suggestions. I'd add to Rotating DMs: In my experience, this works very well if the side campaign is very different from the main game. I have done this a few times in my long-running (4-year) 5e campaign. Other players have run games set in other cities or before the main game's plot. Usually we'll choose an underexplored element of the main game, like a faction or city we heard about but haven't visited. We have also used this technique to address side plots that the main group had to abandon because their team had other priorities.
$endgroup$
– Master_Yogurt
yesterday











3












$begingroup$

A system I use has exactly the answer you need. In this system, once characters level up enough, mage-types can build dungeons. Players can design a dungeon however they want; once it's built, the rulebook lays out precise rules for filling the dungeon with monsters by making encounter checks for the dungeon itself. Eventually, the encounter check ends up being an adventuring party. That means a party wants to clear the dungeon!



And that's when I get to be a player.



The owner of the dungeon is, obviously, the dungeon master (with apologies to Wizards of the Coast's trademark). That player runs the dungeon run as a one-shot, with the random adventuring party being played by the other players - and, for once, me!



This has the following benefits:



  1. I, the forever-GM, am guaranteed to play at least once.


  2. The GM-for-a-day gets to learn the system and run a one-shot (with me there to help, if need be).


  3. With enough players, someone is going to like it enough to want to GM a real game!


While the rules for making and running dungeons are built in to my system, it's easy enough to create in any system - or genre! You mentioned Paranoia; what's to stop Friend Computer from ordering one of the troubleshooters to create a one-shot mini-game, built to confuse the enemy, which will be play tested by fellow troubleshooters, including a certain NPC (you!)?



The same goes for any system: make a quest to make a quest. Essentially, give an in-character reason why a PC will suddenly take over as GM-for-a-day. The Mad Scientist makes a maze for his rats, and the rats (the players) need to solve it; the mage builds a dungeon, and a random adventuring party wants to clear it for him; the Programmer accidentally makes Tron, and needs to send programs (the players) to fix it.



Most importantly, talk with your players, and make sure they understand your impending burnout. It's entirely understandable to want to play a game, not just create, and I think at least some of your players will understand that.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$








  • 3




    $begingroup$
    "A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
    $endgroup$
    – V2Blast
    yesterday











  • $begingroup$
    A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
    $endgroup$
    – ArmanX
    22 hours ago















3












$begingroup$

A system I use has exactly the answer you need. In this system, once characters level up enough, mage-types can build dungeons. Players can design a dungeon however they want; once it's built, the rulebook lays out precise rules for filling the dungeon with monsters by making encounter checks for the dungeon itself. Eventually, the encounter check ends up being an adventuring party. That means a party wants to clear the dungeon!



And that's when I get to be a player.



The owner of the dungeon is, obviously, the dungeon master (with apologies to Wizards of the Coast's trademark). That player runs the dungeon run as a one-shot, with the random adventuring party being played by the other players - and, for once, me!



This has the following benefits:



  1. I, the forever-GM, am guaranteed to play at least once.


  2. The GM-for-a-day gets to learn the system and run a one-shot (with me there to help, if need be).


  3. With enough players, someone is going to like it enough to want to GM a real game!


While the rules for making and running dungeons are built in to my system, it's easy enough to create in any system - or genre! You mentioned Paranoia; what's to stop Friend Computer from ordering one of the troubleshooters to create a one-shot mini-game, built to confuse the enemy, which will be play tested by fellow troubleshooters, including a certain NPC (you!)?



The same goes for any system: make a quest to make a quest. Essentially, give an in-character reason why a PC will suddenly take over as GM-for-a-day. The Mad Scientist makes a maze for his rats, and the rats (the players) need to solve it; the mage builds a dungeon, and a random adventuring party wants to clear it for him; the Programmer accidentally makes Tron, and needs to send programs (the players) to fix it.



Most importantly, talk with your players, and make sure they understand your impending burnout. It's entirely understandable to want to play a game, not just create, and I think at least some of your players will understand that.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$








  • 3




    $begingroup$
    "A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
    $endgroup$
    – V2Blast
    yesterday











  • $begingroup$
    A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
    $endgroup$
    – ArmanX
    22 hours ago













3












3








3





$begingroup$

A system I use has exactly the answer you need. In this system, once characters level up enough, mage-types can build dungeons. Players can design a dungeon however they want; once it's built, the rulebook lays out precise rules for filling the dungeon with monsters by making encounter checks for the dungeon itself. Eventually, the encounter check ends up being an adventuring party. That means a party wants to clear the dungeon!



And that's when I get to be a player.



The owner of the dungeon is, obviously, the dungeon master (with apologies to Wizards of the Coast's trademark). That player runs the dungeon run as a one-shot, with the random adventuring party being played by the other players - and, for once, me!



This has the following benefits:



  1. I, the forever-GM, am guaranteed to play at least once.


  2. The GM-for-a-day gets to learn the system and run a one-shot (with me there to help, if need be).


  3. With enough players, someone is going to like it enough to want to GM a real game!


While the rules for making and running dungeons are built in to my system, it's easy enough to create in any system - or genre! You mentioned Paranoia; what's to stop Friend Computer from ordering one of the troubleshooters to create a one-shot mini-game, built to confuse the enemy, which will be play tested by fellow troubleshooters, including a certain NPC (you!)?



The same goes for any system: make a quest to make a quest. Essentially, give an in-character reason why a PC will suddenly take over as GM-for-a-day. The Mad Scientist makes a maze for his rats, and the rats (the players) need to solve it; the mage builds a dungeon, and a random adventuring party wants to clear it for him; the Programmer accidentally makes Tron, and needs to send programs (the players) to fix it.



Most importantly, talk with your players, and make sure they understand your impending burnout. It's entirely understandable to want to play a game, not just create, and I think at least some of your players will understand that.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$



A system I use has exactly the answer you need. In this system, once characters level up enough, mage-types can build dungeons. Players can design a dungeon however they want; once it's built, the rulebook lays out precise rules for filling the dungeon with monsters by making encounter checks for the dungeon itself. Eventually, the encounter check ends up being an adventuring party. That means a party wants to clear the dungeon!



And that's when I get to be a player.



The owner of the dungeon is, obviously, the dungeon master (with apologies to Wizards of the Coast's trademark). That player runs the dungeon run as a one-shot, with the random adventuring party being played by the other players - and, for once, me!



This has the following benefits:



  1. I, the forever-GM, am guaranteed to play at least once.


  2. The GM-for-a-day gets to learn the system and run a one-shot (with me there to help, if need be).


  3. With enough players, someone is going to like it enough to want to GM a real game!


While the rules for making and running dungeons are built in to my system, it's easy enough to create in any system - or genre! You mentioned Paranoia; what's to stop Friend Computer from ordering one of the troubleshooters to create a one-shot mini-game, built to confuse the enemy, which will be play tested by fellow troubleshooters, including a certain NPC (you!)?



The same goes for any system: make a quest to make a quest. Essentially, give an in-character reason why a PC will suddenly take over as GM-for-a-day. The Mad Scientist makes a maze for his rats, and the rats (the players) need to solve it; the mage builds a dungeon, and a random adventuring party wants to clear it for him; the Programmer accidentally makes Tron, and needs to send programs (the players) to fix it.



Most importantly, talk with your players, and make sure they understand your impending burnout. It's entirely understandable to want to play a game, not just create, and I think at least some of your players will understand that.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered yesterday









ArmanXArmanX

80347




80347







  • 3




    $begingroup$
    "A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
    $endgroup$
    – V2Blast
    yesterday











  • $begingroup$
    A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
    $endgroup$
    – ArmanX
    22 hours ago












  • 3




    $begingroup$
    "A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
    $endgroup$
    – V2Blast
    yesterday











  • $begingroup$
    A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
    $endgroup$
    – ArmanX
    22 hours ago







3




3




$begingroup$
"A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
yesterday





$begingroup$
"A system I use" meaning a published game system? Or one you came up with yourself? If the former: what game system is it?
$endgroup$
– V2Blast
yesterday













$begingroup$
A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
$endgroup$
– ArmanX
22 hours ago




$begingroup$
A published system: Adventurer, Conqueror, King System. As much as I like the system, it seems many people have problems with the author, so I'm hesitant in naming it...
$endgroup$
– ArmanX
22 hours ago











1












$begingroup$

You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it. This is natural since they lack experience.



Play with them to let them gain that experience. For a while, you will have less fun, but it gets better.



Better yet, teach them. You should never ever try to do this during a game. That undermines the authority a GM needs to do their job, and is not fun for anybody involved.



Instead you should take them aside after each session, after the other players have left, to tell them what you think worked and didn't work during the session. Be clear that you are only offering advice as an experienced GM, but that they are the ultimate authority for their game.



You should avoid making this seem like whining. If you can, give examples using the other players, not yourself.



You might want to start by asking questions. "I'm curious, why didn't you allow ..." They might actually have a good reason. You might learn something yourself!



To take the sting out, be free with your praise. If they do something you like, tell them so.



On a side note: Some people's expectations have been formed by computer RPGs. These are utterly rigid and usually badly railroaded. Some people think that this is what role playing is. Teach them otherwise.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    "You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    20 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
    $endgroup$
    – Stig Hemmer
    20 hours ago















1












$begingroup$

You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it. This is natural since they lack experience.



Play with them to let them gain that experience. For a while, you will have less fun, but it gets better.



Better yet, teach them. You should never ever try to do this during a game. That undermines the authority a GM needs to do their job, and is not fun for anybody involved.



Instead you should take them aside after each session, after the other players have left, to tell them what you think worked and didn't work during the session. Be clear that you are only offering advice as an experienced GM, but that they are the ultimate authority for their game.



You should avoid making this seem like whining. If you can, give examples using the other players, not yourself.



You might want to start by asking questions. "I'm curious, why didn't you allow ..." They might actually have a good reason. You might learn something yourself!



To take the sting out, be free with your praise. If they do something you like, tell them so.



On a side note: Some people's expectations have been formed by computer RPGs. These are utterly rigid and usually badly railroaded. Some people think that this is what role playing is. Teach them otherwise.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    "You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    20 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
    $endgroup$
    – Stig Hemmer
    20 hours ago













1












1








1





$begingroup$

You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it. This is natural since they lack experience.



Play with them to let them gain that experience. For a while, you will have less fun, but it gets better.



Better yet, teach them. You should never ever try to do this during a game. That undermines the authority a GM needs to do their job, and is not fun for anybody involved.



Instead you should take them aside after each session, after the other players have left, to tell them what you think worked and didn't work during the session. Be clear that you are only offering advice as an experienced GM, but that they are the ultimate authority for their game.



You should avoid making this seem like whining. If you can, give examples using the other players, not yourself.



You might want to start by asking questions. "I'm curious, why didn't you allow ..." They might actually have a good reason. You might learn something yourself!



To take the sting out, be free with your praise. If they do something you like, tell them so.



On a side note: Some people's expectations have been formed by computer RPGs. These are utterly rigid and usually badly railroaded. Some people think that this is what role playing is. Teach them otherwise.






share|improve this answer









$endgroup$



You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it. This is natural since they lack experience.



Play with them to let them gain that experience. For a while, you will have less fun, but it gets better.



Better yet, teach them. You should never ever try to do this during a game. That undermines the authority a GM needs to do their job, and is not fun for anybody involved.



Instead you should take them aside after each session, after the other players have left, to tell them what you think worked and didn't work during the session. Be clear that you are only offering advice as an experienced GM, but that they are the ultimate authority for their game.



You should avoid making this seem like whining. If you can, give examples using the other players, not yourself.



You might want to start by asking questions. "I'm curious, why didn't you allow ..." They might actually have a good reason. You might learn something yourself!



To take the sting out, be free with your praise. If they do something you like, tell them so.



On a side note: Some people's expectations have been formed by computer RPGs. These are utterly rigid and usually badly railroaded. Some people think that this is what role playing is. Teach them otherwise.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered 20 hours ago









Stig HemmerStig Hemmer

29313




29313











  • $begingroup$
    "You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    20 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
    $endgroup$
    – Stig Hemmer
    20 hours ago
















  • $begingroup$
    "You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
    $endgroup$
    – Mołot
    20 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
    $endgroup$
    – Stig Hemmer
    20 hours ago















$begingroup$
"You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
$endgroup$
– Mołot
20 hours ago





$begingroup$
"You mention that the other alternative GMs are bad at it." - No, I said they deliver different experience than what I'm longing for. "This is natural since they lack experience." - Actually, he is about as experienced as I am, if not more. His habits are pretty deeply rooted already, I'm afraid. We tried talking with him outside the session about it, but it didn't really help (yes, we, because I wasn't the only one wanting less tactical, more RP / sandbox experience).
$endgroup$
– Mołot
20 hours ago













$begingroup$
@Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
$endgroup$
– Stig Hemmer
20 hours ago




$begingroup$
@Molot Oh well, leaving my answer here since it might be useful to others.
$endgroup$
– Stig Hemmer
20 hours ago

















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